I Got Me Some Bills

By Dave Marsh
Contributor
February 01, 2024

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Read more from Dave Marsh
A Drama About Stewardship

Director's Notes:
We've all heard that Jesus talks more about money than any other single subject. Why? Because if there's anything that we keep our hands clenched around it's money. If we can trust God with our kids and our future, why can't we trust Him with our resources?

This drama can also be used in a stewardship series as part 2.

Cast:
Dave: An average man
Teri: Dave's wife

Props:
Some bills
A chair
A desk
A laptop (if available)
Mop
Laundry
Drill and safety glasses

Setting:
Home office

(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE)

Dave: Hey Honey. Where are you!

Teri: (offstage) I’m upstairs!

Dave: Okay. Just letting you know that the Assistant, Assistant Marketing Manager is home from work.

Teri: (offstage) Okay. I’m busy right now. Dinner is in an hour.

Dave: No problem. I got the mail. I’ll just…uh…. Well, maybe I’ll pay bills.

Teri: (offstage) Okay.

Dave: Okay. I’ll pay the bills then! That’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna pay the bills now.

Teri: (comes in with tons of laundry) Are you making me feel guilty for not paying the bills?

Dave: Who me? Nooooo. (she glares) Um… I’ll just pay the bills.

Teri: Good idea. (leaves)

Dave: Ah, ok. Well, let’s, uh, do this. (sits down) Um, looks around.. Honey, where’s the…?

Teri: (off stage) it’s in my purse!

Dave: …checkbook. Okay! Thanks! (gets checkbook). Alright, let’s see. Okay, good. A balance of $3500! That’s a good start. (starts opening bills)

Dave: Alright, lets take care of the essentials first. Mortgage. (Types on laptop). $1550. Alright. Leaves a ton. Next!

Dave: Electric. $350!?!!? Honey! Honey!

Teri: (enters with mop) What?

Dave: The electric bill is $350! How is that possible?

Teri: Well, you see, the house needs heat in the winter and…

Dave: I understand that but maybe we can turn it down a little more and wear sweaters and stuff.

Teri: Dave, I keep the house at 68 as it is.

Dave: Well, maybe you can keep it at 67?

Teri: Whatever. (leaves)

Dave: (shouts after her) Thank you! Okay, $350. Next. Car insurance….$512!?!?! Honey? Why is the car insurance so high???

Teri: (off stage) Because you bought a new car.

Dave: Didn’t your friend at the insurance company cut us a break?

Teri: (off stage) please tell me you aren’t blaming me for buying a new car.

Dave: Well, I….. nevermind.

Teri: Thank you.

Dave: $512….grrrr…. Okay, next. Visa. $612?!?! Honey! Please come here!

Teri: (enters with cordless drill) What now?

Dave: What in the world did you buy at Harris Teeter for $612???

Teri: It’s called food. You eat it.

Dave: 600 bucks worth of food?

Teri: Dave, the bill comes once a month. That’s what our family eats in a month. I mean, you were there most of the time, you saw what we bought. You said we could buy whatever we wanted…

Dave: Yes but…. But…. Well, look at this Visa bill? How in the world did we rack up $4500???

Teri: (counts on fingers) Big screen TV, new washer, snowblower, kids clothes…

Dave: Okay. Okay. I get it, Miss smartypants.

Teri: (glares at him) I’ve got to go check on dinner. (leaves)

Dave: Okay, pay a bit off the Visa …… okay, one more. (opens bill) Compassion? What the? HONEY!?!

Teri: (comes in with apron on) Oh for crying out loud, Dave, what is it now?

Dave: What in the world is Compassion and why did we send $100 for 2 Christmas gifts???

Teri: Compassion is an organization that keeps kids in other countries alive and they get a chance to learn about God. I sponsored 2 kids remember? I told you about it and you said “fine.” We sent them each $50 and they were able to buy clothes, books and one even bought their family a cow.

Dave: A cow? A COW? You gave away MY money to buy a kid a cow?

Teri: Who’s money?

Dave: MY money.

Teri: (Looks at computer screen) Not any more it’s not.

END

© 2004 Dave Marsh


















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