Dave: A Dad who just got laid off
Melinda: Dave's wife
Amanda: Dave's teenage daughter
Adam: Amanda's boyfriend
Kaitlin: Dave's youngest daughter.
Videotape (or cassette tape) with some news footage of Iraq war.
(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE)
(Dave comes walking in from a day at work. Briefcase in handÖ)
Dave: Oh man. What an awful day. Laid off. I canít believe it. I thought I was safe. 5 years and I get the heave ho. Oh man.
Melinda: From off screen) Honey, is that you?
Dave: Oh, um, Yeah, itís me.
Melinda: (From off screen) Okay, Iíll be right there.
Dave: Okay. (to self) Alright, I canít let her see me down. I need to put on a happy face. Yeah, thatís it. Thatís all I need to do. Put on a happy face. (puts on a fake smile)
Melinda: (enters) Hi, honey. How was your day?
Dave: My day? Fine. Good. Great! Well, I mean, I was laid off and all but other than that Iím good to go!
Melinda: What? You were laid off?
Dave: Yeah, but thatís okay. I have peace about it. Really! I can get a job anywhere!
Melinda: Oh, well okay. I guess Iím glad to hear that at least. Letís talk about it after dinner. Iíve got to go check on that. Amanda and he new boyfriend are eating with us by the way. (she starts walking off)
Dave: Okay, that sounds great! Donít worry your pretty little head about anything! Remember, I can get a job anywhere! (waits for her to leave and starts to panic) Where am I gonna get a job? I mean, how many companies in Charlottesville make video games? Whoís gonna hire me anyway? I have no hair! Who wants to hire bald guys? No one! They hire people with hair! Iím doomed!
Amanda: (comes in off screen with Adam. Adam is dressed in a black leather jacket and sunglasses) Dad? Dad, are you alright?
Dave: Huh? Oh, hi Honey. Yep. Iím fine. Heh, just joking around. Heh. And who is this, er, fine young man?
Amanda: Daddy, this is Adam. Adam, this is my dad. (Dave goes to shake his hand but Adam just looks at it.)
Dave: Oh, well, nice to meet you Adam. (turns to Amanda) So, honey, how long have you and, er, Adam been dating?
Amanda: 4 days now and you know what? Weíre in LOVE! Arenít we Adam? (Adam grunts)
Dave: Oh, heh, Love eh? (puts on fake smile) Well, thatís great! I mean, you are, after all, 16 years old. I mean, I fell in love for the first time at 24. Thatís about the same age right? HehÖ
Amanda: And do you know where we are going tomorrow night? (Dave shakes his head) Weíre going to a concert!
Dave: Well thatís great! Who are you going to see? Pat Boone? Johnny Mathis? Barry Manilow?
Amanda: Ozzy Osbourne!
Dave: (holding it back) Well! Really? Ozzy Osbourne. No kidding. Well, Iím sure that will be a wonderful uplifting time!
Amanda: Okay, well, weíre gonna go snuggle or something before dinner. Bye Daddy! (Adam grunts)
Dave: Bye honey! (Waits for her to leave and starts counting on his fingers). Okay, the first thing Iím gonna do is get a police background check on Adam. Second, Iím gonna follow them to that concert. Better yet, Iím gonna be in the trunk. Okay, stay calm. Stay calm! IíM NOT STAYING CALM! Weíll move! Weíll move to the outback somewhere where there are no boys! Weíll be hermits or monks or something!
Kaitlin: (enters) Daddy?
Dave: (looks up) OhÖ hi honey. Daddyís just playing make believe. Heh heh. Whatís up, honey?
Kaitlin: Daddy, do you remember the big screen TV?
Dave: (holding it back) What do you mean ďRememberĒ honey?
Kaitlin: Well, there was an accident.
Dave: (forcing a smile) An accident?
Kaitlin: Itís not so big anymore. Iím sorry.
Dave: (sweating) Oh, heh, thatís okay honey. Itís just a TV after all. A 72 inch plasma picture in picture TV that I havenít finished payments on anymore. Donít worry honey. See, Daddyís not mad. Heís got peace about it. Now go and get ready for dinner.
Dave: (waits of her to leave) My 72 inch plasma picture in picture TV THAT I HAVENíT FINISHED PAYMENTS ON! I canít believe it! First I lose my job! And then my daughter is dating the anti-Christ! And now my baby, my 72 inch baby, isÖ..goneÖ.. (sob) How am I supposed to have peace through all this??? Okay, okay, get a hold of yourself. Itís not that bad, right? I mean, it could be worse, right? Right??! Okay, Iíll just relax for a bit. Yeah, Iíll just watch some TV here. Yeah, Iím sure Iíll feel much better.
Dave: (switches on TV via remote and put a video of news footage of the war) (Total sarcasm and defeated) Oh, yeah, this makes me feel much betterÖ
(c) 2003 Dave Marsh