Remember the Saturday Night Live skits that featured the guys that sat around talking about Ditka and "Da Bears?" Well this is a fun, light drama about 2 buddies who are having "extreme fellowship." :)
BTW, you'll have to update the players on the teams...
John: A guy
Dave: John's buddy
Peggy: Dave's wife
A couple of chairs
(Lights up center stage where Dave and John are watching football)
John: You know this game is gonna be a slaughter. I mean Washington is 1 and 5. (blah blah blah.)
Dave: You know who the best team is in football right?
John: Oh yeah.
Dave: Da Bears.
John: Argument ensues because John agrees the Bears are okay but likes the Eagles but they are 3-2 and the Bears are 1-4. Lots of conversation about the '85 Bears (give it up already would ya!) Jim Miller, McNair, soft schedules, etc.
Peggy: (enters – takes off coat) Hi, honey, I’m home. Hello? Dave? DAVE?!
Dave: Hmmm? Oh, hi honey.
Peggy: Are you to arguing about sports again?
Dave: (looks at John) Who’s arguing? Are we arguing?
John: No. This is fellowship.
Peggy: Whatever. All I ever hear is you two yapping away about football? (starts leaving for the other room.) Can’t you guys talk about something other than football?
John: What else is on?
Dave: This is good. Women’s tennis.
John: Yeah. I think women’s tennis is more fun to watch than men’s tennis.
Dave: I agree. I’m getting sick of the number of ace’s they rack up. No volley baby.
John: Exactly. Did you see that Jennifer Capriati is number one now?
Dave: Really? Took over Hingis eh? I’m surprised that Venus Williams isn’t number 1.
John: Williams? Don’t get me wrong, she’s good but she’s no Capriati.
Dave: What do you mean? She has done much better than Capriati over the last 6 months?
John: Are you crazy? Capriati has won 2, count em, 2 grand slams this year. Williams has only won 1. End of discussion.
Dave: Hey, I said the last 6 months! Get your ears cleaned out already.
Peggy: (reenters) Hey! Are you guys arguing about football again?
Dave: No! We’re arguing about women’s tennis. And we’re not arguing. We’re uh…
Dave: Yeah. That too.
Peggy: Tennis. Football, whatever. Sports. I swear, that’s all you guys ever talk about. Who scored the most this, who has the worst average, who is the best quarterback…
Peggy: Whatever? Is that all your friendship is based on? Can’t you talk about anything other than sports?
Peggy: Okay. Go ahead.
Dave: (long silence) Da Bears.
Peggy: ARGH! (goes storming off the stage.)
John: (they watch her go) What’s wrong with her?
Dave: I don’t know. (switches channels) Ah, pro bowling.
Both: Da Bowling!
© 2002 Dave Marsh