The Fence

I've got a fence graphic that you can put on the screen behind the actors. Right-click HERE and choose "Save Target As..."

Cast:
Robby: A guy who's on the fence
John: A friend
Monica: Robby's future wife

Props:
Mitt and ball
Present

Setting:
Outside by a fence

(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE where Robby is on stage.)

Robby: (standing there, fence behind him and speaking to audience) Hey, Nice to see ya. I was just taking a quick break from sitting on the fence. Yeah, (points to it) it’s a beauty eh? I’ve sat on that fence, wow, must be like 30 years now. I mean, I get off of it now and then to stretch but there’s nothing like a comfortable fence to sit on. I mean, it’s not that unusual. Mr. Riggins down the road has been settin’ on that porch of his now ever since I can remember. Nary a day has gone by that he wasn’t shoutin’ “Hey, you kids get off my lawn.” And “Boy, fetch yer daddy a pepsicola.” Yeah, he likes that porch all right… and I like this fence. I remember the first time that I climbed aboard. Seems like yesterday…

John: (enters with baseball and mitt in hand) Hey.

Robby: Hey.

John: Let's toss around a couple of balls - get ready for Friday.

Robby: For what?

John: Baseball practice. Our first game is next weekend. Come on, let's go.

Robby: Yeah - I really don't think I'll be able to show.

John: But you said you'd play centerfield.

Robby: I know, but soccer tryouts are tomorrow.

John: Soccer - you'd rather play soccer than baseball? You're mom doesn't even own a mini van.

Robby: Well, I'm not really sure. There's also summer camp.

John: But you said you'd be on the team.

Robby: Yeah, I know. I'm not so sure anymore.

John: Are you going to be there or not?

Robby: I might show.

John: You better show. Or else we'll have to get grandma to play center - again. (leaves)

Robby: (talking to audience) I never showed. I mean I couldn't. What if I wasn't cut out to play baseball or I was meant to be a soccer player. Or what, if the girl of my dreams went to YMCA camp and I missed meeting her because I was playing baseball. Well, I couldn't let that happen. Too risky. I sat on the fence the majority of that summer. I didn't meet the girl of my dreams until much later.

Monica: Hey, Hon (enters with present)

Robby: Hey Monica. What’s that?

Monica: (big sigh) - you mean you don't remember?

Robby: Oh, oh. Ah, this isn't another one of those anniversaries, is it?

Monica: Yeah- do you know which one?

Robby: Don't ask me that. You know I'm not very good with numbers (laughs nervously).

Monica: Well, go ahead and guess.

Robby: Mmmm - 5.

Monica: 5 (annoyed) - we've been dating for 8 years today and you say "5".

Robby: Heh. Really - time flies when you're having fun.

Monica: Yeah - I've been doing some thinking.

Robby: (to audience) Ah, I hate it when she says that.

Monica: Now, I know when we first started dating we were both in college and you asked for time to finish your masters and I gave you that. Then you said you needed time to find a career, and I gave you that. And then you need time to find your inner-child, mission accomplished. I am 35 years old now, okay - are you going to marry me or not?

Robby: Whoa, Monica - aren't you a little bit risky with this?

Monica: Risky?

Robby: Yeah, I mean, how are we supposed to know if I’m the right person for you and you for me? Let's just keep things the way they are. Why do we have to make things so complicated?

Monica: You have 24 hours to propose to me, buddy, or else we're through.

Robby: Ouch. Monica put me back on the fence for a very long time. I eventually asked her to marry me because, well, I feared for my life. Don't take any risks - that's my motto. I have the same motto with church. I never go to the same church more than twice in a row - why you ask? Get this - that way, I make sure nobody ropes me into doing anything I don't really want to do. Take this morning for example…

Monica: Let me ask you a question.

Robby: Oh no.

Monica: Does this dress make me look fat?

Robby: (to audience) Now, this question was certain death. There was nothing I could say here to save myself from this. Men much stronger than I have been crushed beneath it’s weight. I could only hope to divert it by focusing on something else. The problem was that in the midst of my panic I opened my mouth before my brain could process what I was going to say…

Robby: Perhaps you should brush your hair more often.

Monica: (looks at him with disbelief) Okay, I’m gonna let that slide. Let’s go.

Robby: Where are we going?

Monica: Church. Let’s go.

Robby: Not that wacky Northridge again! We went last week. Aren’t we supposed to be church hopping?

Monica: No, it’s not wacky and no, we are not church hopping. I like it. I think you should sign up for a small group.

Robby: You know, signing-up - that's such a formal thing. And I'm not sure I'm a really good match for this. You know they have all that singing, and goofy skits and the place looks like it was built by a bunch of amateurs.

Monica: Whatever. Look, they are starting this 40 days of purpose series. The focus of this is on you finding your purpose for your life.

Robby: Yeah - but 40 days. That's a really long time. I was wondering…do you think they have cliff notes, or a drive-thru?

Monica: You’re hopeless. What are you gonna do instead? Sit on that fence?

Robby: Yeah. I was thinking about it. (she leaves)

Robby: Well, that’s how it ended. She went off to church and I’m headin’ back to my good ol’ comfortable fence. It may not be very exciting but there you go. Anyway, maybe if they start showing movies or something you might see me again….

LIGHTS OUT SLOWLY

END

© 2003 Dave Marsh