The Remote

By Dave Marsh
Contributor
October 25, 2012

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A drama about obeying your parents

Director's Notes: I love old Twilight Zone episodes. So, I wrote this drama as if the mom has a magical remote. It's pretty wacky but gets it's point across.

BTW, I borrowed the ending from the Simpsons...

Cast:
Beth: Mom
Diane: Beth's daughter
Rod Serling: Someone talking into a mike.

Props:
A remote
Boombox (prop only)
3 songs (1 heavy metal, 1 Johnny Mathis or the like, and 1 Beatles)
Twilight Zone theme (you can find this on the net)
Couch (or 2 chairs put together)

Setting:
Inside a family room.
(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE)

(Beth is lying on a couch, exhausted. She has the tv remote in her hand and is watching a show. Diane enters with boombox in hand blaring some heavy metal music)

Beth: Diane? DIANE!!!

Diane: What?

Beth: Would you please turn that off?

Diane: Why?

Beth: Because I ASKED YOU TO!

Diane: (exasperated) Whatever. (turns it off)

Beth: Honestly, young lady, I work my fingers to the bone for you and all I ask for is a little peace and quiet.

Diane: Doesnít look like youíre working to me.

Beth: What? Do you have any idea what Iíve done all day? Iíve done 4 loads of laundry, cleaned the house from top to bottom, drove you and Tina over to the mall, picked you two up from the mall, made dinner and gave Timmy a bath.

Diane: Is that it?

Beth: Is that it? You donít appreciate anything I do.

Diane: Whatever.

Beth: Argh! Would you stop (accidentally pushes remote. Diane freezes.)

Beth: Wha? Diane? (walks around her and as she looks at the remote, it dawns on her that the remote must be magical) Oh wow. What is going on?

Narrator: (Plays twilight zone theme) Beth Raymond, an ordinary mother in an ordinary suburban house on an extraordinary day. Yes, today is different. Today is Motherís day. But not any Motherís day but Motherís Day in the Twilight Zone.

Beth: Okay so I said ĎStopí and I must have hit the stop button. Hmmm. I wonder what would happen if I hit rewind?

Diane: (Diane backs up to where she startedÖ)

Beth: Cool! Now, letís start over. No, wait. Letís program the remote for something a little different. (sits down on couch) And, GO!

Diane: (Diane walks in listening to Johnny Mathis)

Beth: Diane?

Diane: Yes, mother?

Beth: Would you please turn that off?

Diane: Why of course, dear mother. (turns it off)

Beth: Thank you.

Diane: No, mother, thank you. Thank you for everything you do! Thank you for driving us and thank you for washing clothes and cleaning and loving us! Ohhh, mother!

Beth: Um, no problem honey. Do you want to watch TV with me?

Diane: Oh no, mother, I wouldnít think of barging in on your quiet time. But perhaps you would like me, your humble daughter, to read a poem I wrote about how wonderful you are!

Beth: Uh, sure.

Diane: Mother, mother, how great you are.

You are so wonderful, a shining star.

You are my mother, oh yes, my mother!

There is no other, my motherÖ

Beth: Stop! (Beth presses the remote and Diane freezes.) Mother is getting ill! This isnít what I wanted. I donít want some sort of sweetening-sick zombie-daughter. I just want her to obey me. Hmmm, okay, last try. (presses some buttons Ė Diane goes back to where she was.)

Beth: Okay, GO!

Diane: (Enters listening to the Beatles)

Beth: Diane?

Diane: Yeah?

Beth: Would you please turn that off?

Diane: (turns it off) What, donít like the Beatles?

Beth: I was always a Monkeeís fan.

Dave: (Joking) Ah, mom, I canít take you anywhere!

Beth: Sue me.

Diane: Tough day, eh?

Beth: Yeah. Some Motherís day.

Diane: Well, how about we just sit here and hang out, eat some ice cream and just watch some TV?

Beth: That would be great.

Diane: Cool. I have a couple of hours before Zog from the planet Zygorf picks me up in his space craft.

Beth: (looks at Diane, then at the remote, then at the audience).

Beth: Eh, close enough.

(twilight zone theme)

(LIGHTS FADE OUT)

END

(c) 1999 Dave Marsh













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