Cast:
Tom: A man who doesn't trust God enough
Beth: Tom's wife

Props:
A small tent
The ability to play audio from the movie "Elf" (a portable DVD player in the tent works well here)
A bible
Letters
Bike Lock (or something that sounds like a lock opening)
Cell phone

Setting:
The family room

(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE where Tom is inside the tent (zipped close) watching "Elf".)

Tom: (we hear Tom) Ha. Ha. Ha. That's great!

Beth: (walks in taking off her coat) Tom? Tom, I'm home. Where are y... (notices tent). Tom? Are you in there?

Tom: Oh, hi Honey. Yeah. (still laughing at movie)

Beth: What in the world are you doing in a tent?

Tom: Watching "Elf".

Beth: Tom, it's way past Christmas and... (shakes her head)... wait a minute, why in the world are you watching movies in a tent?

Tom: It's far more comfortable.

Beth: Uh, I think the couch is infinitely more comfortable than a tent.

Tom: No, I mean, it's more comfortable. You know, a lot safer.

Beth: Safer?

Tom: Yeah. It's a scary world out there and I decided that it would be a lot more safe if I just stayed in this tent.

Beth: You are so weird, Tom (starts looking through some mail she brought in and then lifts her head realizing something) Tom, aren't you supposed to be at work?

Tom: I quit my job.

Beth: You what???

Tom: Yeah, I quit

Beth: Why in the world would you do that?

Tom: They had all these expectations of me. It just didn't make me feel comfortable.

Beth: Thomas Jones, I have some expectations of you myself, I expect you to act like a normal human being.

Tom: See? You have these expectations too! How can I live up to it all? I mean, you need to do this, not do that, it's just too much. Even God has all these expectations of me.

Beth: God?

Tom: Yeah, hold on. (We hear a bunch of lock sounds and finally the zipper opens just enough for Tom to hand a bible out. Beth takes it and opens it)

Beth: So?

Tom: So??? I've been reading it and God expects all this stuff from me. I mean, how can I handle it all? It's just... (his cell phone rings) Hold on. Hello? Whassssuuuuppp? Yeah. No, that would be great, come on over. What? Yeah, I still have it up but now I have cable hooked into it. I'm sure you can fit. Okay, sounds good. What? Yeah, ok. I'll call now. Cya. (hangs up)

Beth: Was that John?

Tom: Yeah, hold on one sec. (calling on his phone) Hi, I'd like to order 2 large sausage pizzas. Yep. 120 Main Street. Right. Okay. Oh, wait. If my wife doesn't answer the door, go ahead and come on in. There will be a tent in the middle of the living room with the money there. Just leave the pizza by the entrance of the tent. Yep, thanks!

Beth: (She has endured enough of this and left when she heard him say that there was a tent in the middle of the living room.)

Tom: Ok. Cool. Now like I was saying. Beth? Beth are you there? Oh well. (starts watching "Elf" again) That Will Ferrell cracks me up. Ha ha....

(LIGHTS SLOWLY FADE )

END

© 2005 Dave Marsh