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Saturday Night Live?

Director's Notes:
So, as we grow as Christians, the folks we hang out with begin to change. It's inevitable (and understandable) that we spend more time with friends from our church and see our non-Christian friends less often. Of course, you see the problem - we can't barricade ourselves behind the church or our select friends. Without compromising our convictions, we need to be a witness to our friends and, especially, not be judgmental! Anyway, this drama throws a humorous look at that.

Cast:
Jeff: A judgmental guy
April: His bored wife

Props:
A deck of cards
A paper
2 chairs
A table

Setting:
Kitchen

(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE)

(Dave is holding up a card from a Bible Trivia game and reading it to a very bored April...)

Jeff: Okay, here's an easy one! What is the name the cave that Sampson went to live in after getting revenge on the Philistines?

April: (rolls eyes) I have no idea.

Jeff: Come on! You’re not trying! It’s easy!

April: (throws out an answer) Jellystone.

Jeff: (shakes head in disappointment) Etam. Come on, you know, Judges 15:8.

April: You call that easy? How in the world would I know that?

Jeff: Now, now, just cause you’re losing (looks at sheet) 2500 to 150. Okay, my turn!

April: No, I think 4 hours of Bible trivia is enough. (pleads) Come on, let’s go over to a friends house or something. It’s Saturday night!

Jeff: Why don’t we just stay home?

April: Come on! I want to go out. I’ll get my address book. (goes off screen to get it)

Jeff: (shouts off screen) You just don’t want me to break the Bible trivia record!

April: (off screen) No, I just don’t want to lose my mind. (comes back in with book) Okay, here it is.

Jeff: (sighs) Fine.

April: (looks in address book) Okay, John and Debbie.

Jeff: (thinks) Uh, no, I don’t think so.

April: Why not?

Jeff: I just never know what to say to John – we have nothing in common. And Debbie, well,…smokes like a chimney. Cough cough cough. I just can’t take it.

April: (sighs) fine. (looks at book) Margo and Tim.

Jeff: Oh, the movie people.

April: What?

Jeff: They let their kids see R rated movies. The last thing I want is their kid telling our little Jason how folks die in Pulp Fiction. No way.

April: (looks at him) Fine. What about Raymond and Sandy.

Jeff: Beer boy.

April: (shakes head) What?

Jeff: Beer boy. I saw him at Food Lion buying like what seemed 3,000 cases of beer. What if people saw us go over there and thought that we were there for some big beer party?

April: But…

Jeff: (shakes head) Beer boy… no no no.

April: (getting frustrated) Jim and Carol

Jeff: (quickly) Went to jail for a year.

April: (more frustrated) Tom and Vicky

Jeff: (starts raising voice) Voted for Clinton.

April: (raises voice) Jenny and Rich

Jeff: (louder) Kids go to public schools.

April: (almost yelling) Christy and Jack

Jeff: (yelling back) Virginia Tech fans. (btw, this is a rival college football team here in VA)

April: (stands up) Argh! You drive me crazy! (leaves)

Jeff: Oh, come on honey! We can have fun here! We can, uh, finish our game! I’ll tell you what - I'll take out the questions written in Hebrew!

LIGHTS OUT FAST

END

(c) 2003 Dave Marsh

Saturday Night Live?


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