Worship Worries

Drama by Dave Marsh February 11, 2011

If you church doesn't have that listed in your folder or you don't have 2 sets of songs or whatever, don't fret, just alter the drama to work around your service. If you need help doing that, just email me and tell me how you do your service and what's listed where and I'll help you out :)

Cast:
Dave: A normal guy

Props:
A chair
A worship folder
Pre-recorded voice over

Setting:
Sunday morning service

(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE where Dave comes walking up looking for a seat before the morning service starts... (Note that all audio is strictly pre-recorded V.O.)

Dave: Well, ok. This is cool. Nice church I guess. Wonder where all the crosses are though and where's the food? Don't they serve food at church these days? Especially those Nazerene churches. Anyway, guess I'll have a seat here in the back and pray they don't ask me to stand up and say something. Just don't make eye contact and I'll probably be ok.

Dave: This folder is nice. It's huge actually. You could make a kite out of this thing I bet. It's huge! What's it called? A worship folder? What kind of folder is that? Kinda weird sounding. Ok, let's look inside. HOLY COW! Look at all those songs! There must be a hundred of them! I haven't even heard of most of these. You call these hymns? Where's that one about the wandering cross or amazing graces and stuff? Ok, don't panic. Looks like things are going to start.

Dave: Hmmm. Where's the organ? You gotta have an organ right? I must be in the wrong place. This must be some sort of rock concert or something judging by those drums and all those guitars. Maybe I took the wrong turn on 29 and... oh. Here comes the guy with the guitar. Wants us to stand and sing. Ok. Must be the right place. But I don't want to seem to eager to do that but I don't want to be too slow and be the last one up... (stands awkwardly as he can't quite decide how quickly to get up)...Oh, that was smooth (sarcastic).

Dave: Ok, ok. This song is kinda catchy. (taps foot) Like the beat. You can dance to it. (starts to sway and snap fingers) Sure. Yeah. Sounds good. Like it. (sways more) Yeah, I like the words being projected on the screen. Nice font as well. I wonder what kind of font that is. Helvetica maybe. Maybe Arial. Good color.

Dave: And the background. Nice touch. Like the background. Kinda like my trip to California. Oh, that reminds me. I have to tape the game today. Man, how in the world are they going to get Barry Bonds out. I mean, he's just unstoppable. He's going to crush the Angels and... (realizes where he is) oh man. Daydreaming. Better get back to this singing thing.

Dave: What? The guitar guy wants me to really begin to worship. Not exactly sure how to do that (looks around). These other people seem to have no problem with it though. Think I'll follow their lead. (Looks left) Hmmm. She's closing her eyes over there. Let's try that. Yeah. This is good. ((realizes he can't see) Okay, can't see a thing. Can't see the words. Having problems here. Can't see- can't worship. Hello? Maybe if I just do it with one eye closed. (Opens one eye) Yep, doing the one-eyed worship thing here. Hmmm. Not really doing anything for me.

Dave: (Looks right) Hmmm, that old guy over there is clapping a lot. That must be the ticket. (claps like a fool) Maybe not. Hurt my hand I think. Can I sue the church for hurting my hand? Heh. Just kidding God. Ouch. Okay, well, maybe there's another way.

Dave: (Looks left) Hey, look at that girl raising her hand. She must have a question or maybe she has to go to the bathroom. Wait, her other hand is going up. Doh, what an idiot I am! She's doing that worship thing. That looks pretty cool. I like that. Well I can do that. (raises both hands) Yeah. Like that. Doin' the worship thing. Except my arms are tired up here. (looks straight up) Hey, look at all the ceiling tiles. I wonder how many there are. There must be hundreds. (starts counting and pointing) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, ...

Dave: (looks down and realizes he is the only one standing) Heh. Why is everyone sitting down? Oooh, worship is over. Everyone looking at me. Okay, be cool and just casually sit down. (sits down awkwardly) Well, that was interesting. What? Oh, that pastor guy wants me to look at the announcements. Hmmm. Mmmm. Wait a minute. What's this? Worship of Giving? What's that? I thought worship was just about singing? (starts to panic) What's going on? I mean, what does worship really mean? Where's the dictionary? What's going on? I'm doomed! What, a second set of songs? Ok, here we go... (stands up quickly, closes eyes and shoots both arms straight into the air)

(LIGHTS OUT FAST)

END

(c) 2002 Dave Marsh