Unbelievable
 | Drama
by Dave Marsh
March 17, 2006
|
A drama about anger, sin, and speech
Director's Notes:
Ray has been speaking from the book of Ephesians and in Ephesians 4, Paul talks
about how we need to stop lying to each other and speak the truth. He then goes on
to talk about anger and stealing and finally bad language. I decided that this was too
much to tackle in one drama so I settled on bad language.
Now, tell me that as you read this, you don't see yourself behind the wheel. C'mon, I
dare ya!
BTW, I recorded this again pretending that I'm merely thinking these things (except
for the parts where I sing at the beginning, talk to the drive thru speaker, and yell at
the lady on the road...) You don't need to record this but it's effective if you can do
it...
Cast:
Dave: A normal Joe
Drive thru person: (Off stage or on tape)
Eric: Greeter at church
Props:
A chair
Setting:
A car
(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE where Dave is driving his car.)
Dave: (singing) "Here comes the sun, da da da da, here comes the sun and I say
it’s all right ..." man, what an unbelievable day. I mean, who could ask for a more
perfect morning? I mean, look at me? I’m all dressed up for church, I’m driving a cool
car, I’ve got a new haircut? What’s not to love? Yeah, I look pretty cool this fine
morning. Not a care in the world. Nope. Not me. It’s an unbelievable day!
Dave: (Looks at watch) Okay, let’s see, it’s 10:00. Church doesn’t start until 10:30.
I’ve got plenty of time. You know what I’m thinkin? I’m thinkin’ McMuffin. Yep, but not
any McMuffin. I’m thinkin’ sausage McMuffin. (homer) ooooooh, sausage McMuffin.
(wipes drool from his face). Okay, McDonalds it is.
Dave: (pulls into drive thru) "Hello? Hello? Anyone there? Hello?" (incoherent voice)
"What? Are you talking to me?" (incoherent voice) "Whatever. Can I get a sausage
McMuffin?" (incoherent voice) "A SAUSAGE MCMUFFIN!" (incoherent voice) "yes,
and a black coffee.... Hello? Did you get that?" (incoherent voice) "I’m pulling
forward now. Here I go..." (incoherent voice)
Dave: Where do they find these people? I mean, when I worked at Burger King as a
kid I took my job seriously. I wore my BK crown with pride! I allowed people from all
walks of life to have it their way. I’d hold the pickles and the lettuce... yeah, those
were the days of real fast food. And speaking of? What’s the hold up? How can they
call this fast? There’s only one other car? What’s the problem? What are they
ordering? What could be taking so long? I just ordered one lousy sausage McMuffin.
If I had only gotten here 2 minutes earlier, I would have been on my way. But now I’m
sitting behind this minivan. I think there are 8 people in there! They must be ordering
everything on the menu! I’m doomed!!!!!!!!
Dave: Finally. (looks in drive thru window) Hello? Hello? There’s like 10 people in
there just standing around. Couldn’t one of them get my sausage McMuffin? What a
bunch of slackers! C’mon. Don’t make me honk my horn here folks. Ooops, here
she comes. Finally.
Dave: "Hi." (gives her the money and gets his food) Well, excuse me. How about
'sorry for the wait' or 'That’s a nice haircut' or something. Alright. It’s over. After all, I
now have my lovely sausage McMuffin. (takes a bite). Wha? Where’s the sausage?
How hard can it be to mess up a stupid McMuffin? I’m gonna go back in there and
give them a piece of my mi... oh man, it’s 10:20 already? Grrrr. Unbelievable...
Dave: Okay, settle down my man. Not that big of a deal. Let’s just get going. Man,
29 is getting bad and the drivers are getting worse. Look at that guy. He just went
through a red light. It must have been red for 10 seconds! Where are the cops in this
town? That guy should be in jail. Yep, headin for the big house. Yeah.
Dave: Whoa! Aw man, that would be my coffee in my lap! I can’t believe this! Where
did she learn how to drive? Arggh. Okay, let’s see who she is? "Hey, learn the rules
of the road would ya, you loser!" She shouldn’t be driving? Where are the cops in
this town? She should be in jail is where she should be. Man. Unbelievable. (looks at
watch) Oh great, I’ve got 2 minutes. This is just great. Better haul.
Dave: (Drives crazy) Look out. Watch it. Comin thru. Okay, turn. Yep, that was still
yellow. No doubt about it. Okay, where's a place to park? What, are they gonna
make me park out in the field? Who owns that white van? They’re there every
Sunday. Some people. (gets out of the car) (Dave is greeted by Eric, a greeter).
Eric: Good morning sir. It’s an unbelievable day isn’t it?
Dave: (kinda sarcastic) Absolutely brother, you can say that again... (they walk off
the stage)
(LIGHTS OUT)
END
(c) 2000 Dave Marsh
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This is the debut album by EXW friend Paul Langford. Paul is a Chicago based singer, arranger, keyboardist, producer and conductor. Paul has a career that spans 14 years. Paul's work includes arranging for groups like GLAD, Voices of Liberty, VoiceTrek, The Chicago based "Caroling Party" and Day of Discovery Singers. His arranging has appeared on recordings side by side with greats like Gene Puerling and David Maddux, and he has sung with Don Shelton, Bonnie Herman and Bob Bowker, among others.