Is God Pleased? - Is He?

Unfortunately, on more than one occasion I have found it hard to get the sleep I need. There have been many instances where I have lain awake at night and not been able to sleep. I've come to the conclusion that during those times God has something He wants to share with me. I believe in my heart that when I do not make, or have, the time to spend with Him during the day, He wakes me to share something - whether it be for me directly or just to pray for someone.

This particular night I was out hunting in Colorado and staying in a trailer. I couldn't sleep so I began praying. As I lay praying, a thought hit me like a ton of bricks. It was phrased in a question, "Is God pleased with my worship?" Then another followed, "Is God pleased with the way our church is worshiping, and more important in how I am leading them?" Wow! I had served as a worship leader for 20 years and have never stopped to think about it. I always thought I knew what God wanted and was able to attain it. After all, I don't need His help to worship Him, do I? Worship is about what I bring to Him, and not what He gives to me. He gives to me all the time, and worship was my expression of thanks and love to Him for all He has done in my life.

The question still bothered me. Was I doing something wrong? Was I leading my church down the wrong road in worship? Was I mis-communicating what worship is? I had to stop and think about it. For me worship was a lot like everything else I do. I get into a rut or pattern and rarely stop to evaluate what I'm doing or where I am in it. I thought I was doing a great job in my teaching and leading worship. But was I..... really? That was the question I had to ask myself and answer before I could get back to sleep.

I began to mentally evaluate all that I was doing as my mind raced with doubt and insecurity. I thought I was doing a fair job at this worship-leading thing. People seemed to be worshiping and growing in their personal worship. What was wrong? Where was I missing the mark? I went back to the question, "Is God pleased with your worship?" I thought for a while and began to look at my worship. I began to look at my life. During corporate worship times, and even in my private worship times, I was honestly trying to worship. The true effort was there to offer up a sacrifice of praise and to give to Him of myself during worship. I felt that I prepared myself for leading and spent suitable time in prayer for our church and preparation of worship. I am a planner and an organizer and am always ready for the service.