' So, in typical Dave Marsh fashion, I decided to take it a little farther than most normal people would as the clueless dad testifies...

' Also, this drama works for the topics of:' the Beatitudes, understanding the Bible, or wisdom

' Cast:

' Dave: A man with
questionable knowledge.

' Adam: Dave's Son

' Props:

' A Bible

' A chair

' A cup of coffee

' A kitchen table of
some sort

' Setting:

' Family kitchen

' (LIGHTS UP CENTER
STAGE on Dad. He is sitting on a chair, drinking coffee and reading the Bible. Adam comes walking up')

' Adam:' Mornin' Dad.

' Dad:'''''
(never looking up) Morning Adam.

' Adam:'''
Whatcha doin'?

' Dad:''''
Reading the Bible.

' Adam:'''
Really? Don't you normally read the paper?

' Dad:''''
(self righteously) Yep. But I thought it was high time that I read the
good book instead.

' Adam:'''
Oh. (long pause) Paper boy never came, eh?

' Dad:''''
Nope. This was the only thing I could find to read.

' Adam:' Well,
it's good for you.

' Dad:''''
(looks up) What?

' Adam:' You know.
It's good for you. You're always telling me to quit reading junk and, well, this is
good for you.

' Dad:'''''
Did your mother put you up to this?

' Adam: No, dad.'

' Dad:'''''
(looks at him suspiciously and then, flips a bunch of pages, and puts his finger down on a page)

' Adam:' Is that
how you're supposed to read it.

' Dad:''''
Of course. If God wants me to read the Bible, then I figure he'll point
me to the fun spots.

' Adam:' Well,
what did you find?

' Dad:''''
Um, something called the Beatitudes.'

' Adam:' Oh, I've
heard of those.

' Dad:'''''
Yep, the sermon on the mountain. It's where Jesus or God or someone tells
us about how blessed
we are or something.'

' Adam:' (takes
the bible) Yeah, you're right. Do you know what all these mean?

' Dad:'''''
Of course I do. After all, I've been reading the Bible for some time now
(glancing at his
watch). Go ahead, read some of the verses and I'll educate you in
the ways of religious
biblicaldom.

' Adam:'''
Ok, here we go. Verse 1: Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a
mountainside and
sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach
them.

' Dad:''''
Ok, now Jesus decides to take it easy and have a seat and talk to these
disciple guys. Disciple,
I believe, is Greek for 'He who follows him that sits down on
a mountain.'

' Adam: Cool. Wow. Greek.
(impressed)

' Dad:'''''
Keep going son. Learn from me.

' Adam:'''
Okay, '"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of
heaven.

' Dad:'''''
Hmmm. Well, back in biblical times everyone drank wine because the
water was so bad
and if they didn't have any wine left then they were poor in spirits.

' Adam:' (a little
skeptical) Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

' Dad:'''''
If it's the morning, then the guy who is in bed and has a comforter will
be
blessed!

' Adam:'''''
(more skeptical) Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for
righteousness, for
they will be filled.

' Dad:''''
This verse clearly shows that God likes food. In fact, Jesus talks more
about
food in the bible
than any other topic!

' Adam: Really?

' Dad:'''''
Of course. Trust me.

' Adam: (really skeptical)
Ooookay. How about this one? Blessed are the
peacemakers, for
they will be called sons of God.

' Dad:'''''
Ah, now that's a typo. It should read 'Blessed are the 'pizza makers.'
Pizza
making is an ancient
Hebrew art and tradition and was the main food at weddings,
funerals, and when
folks were raised from the dead.

' Adam: Well, um, thanks
a lot, Dad. This was, er, very enlightening. Um, I've got to
get ready for school
now. (Hands the bible back and leaves)

' Dad:'''''
No problem, Adam. Feel free to come by and ask me anything else.
Perhaps tomorrow
morning, eh? Heh. Nothing like teaching your boy stuff about
God. Now, let's see
(flips through the Bible and puts his finger in it) James 1 eh? 'If
any of you lack wisdom,
he should ask God who gives generously to all'''

' Dad:'''''
(long pause) Whatever. Where's the fun verses?

' LIGHTS OUT FAST

' END

' (c) 2001 Dave Marsh