I've always loved the verses
from Ephesians 6 that talk about the armor of God. Pastor Ray did a great
job of explaining to us what each piece means to the believer.

Of course, the guy in this
drama is hillariously clueless...

Cast:

Dave: A guy in church

Props:

Chairs

Pre-recorded V.O. tape

Setting:

A Sunday morning service

(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE
where Dave is sitting reading his program.)

Dave:    Okay,
looks like Ray is wrapping up Ephesians. That marriage thing was pretty
good. I especially liked that part about my wife serving me. I seem to
recall something about my responsibility there hmmmm nope, can't remember
a thing. Oh well. Probably was nothing

Dave:   That employee/employer
thing was good as well. I mean, I was really convicted. In fact, if I don't
recall, I only took a two hour lunch today. Yep, honoring God at work.
That's me. Mr. Honor God at work guy. That's what they call me.

Dave:  So what's today
about? Hmmm. Spiritual battles. Well, that sounds pretty cool! Maybe I'll
take a sneak peek at the verses before Ray starts talking about them. Nothing
wrong with  that. I mean, what else am I going to do during tithes
and offerings or is that after the message?  What's with that basket
anyway? Never can quite figure that out...

Dave: Anyway, let's see.
Ephesians 6. "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the
devil's schemes." Yeah baby! I like this stuff. Let's put on that armor!
That sounds pretty cool! Okay, what kind of armor? Do they give it out
here or do I have to go someplace special to get it? I wonder if they give
out donuts with it.mmmm. donuts

Dave:  Anyway, "For
our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers,

against the authorities,
against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual

forces of evil in the heavenly
realms." Yep, that's right! It's against rulers and authorities and powers
and forces of evil! Exactly!! (stops and looks confused) So, like what
powers and forces are we talking about here? It sounds kind of like a Darth
Vader thing "Luke, give in to the powers of the dark side!" And what's
with that ‘evil in the heavenly realms' bit? Sounds wacky Oh well.

Dave: (reads some more) "Therefore
put on the full armor of God, so that when the day

of evil comes, you may be
able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with
the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with
the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace."

Dave: The belt of truth!
Now that sounds cool! With that kind of belt I could make everyone tell
the truth I bet! Yeah, like Wonder woman! She's got that magic lasso and
ties guys up and makes them tell what they did wrong I could use this
on my kids! COOOOL! What else? Breastplate of Righteousness. Wow! The
Breastplate of Righteousness. (long pause) I have no idea what that is
but it sounds cool and I want one. What else? My feet will be fitted with
readiness. (clueless) Ooookay, yeah, my feet need to be fitted with readiness.
In fact, just the other day I think my wife said something about how I
needed to have my feet fitted with this, um, readiness. Yeah. (long pause)
Readiness.. right. What else is there?

Dave:  "In addition
to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish

all the flaming arrows of
the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the

Spirit, which is the word
of God." Well! Now we're talking! I'm gonna get me a shield of

faith! I'm not sure what
the faith part is about but I do know that it's going to stop

FLAMING ARROWS?!? FROM THE
EVIL ONE?!?! Oh, that's just great! They never told me when I signed up
for this Christianity thing that the Devil is going to be trying to pick
me off with projectiles of fiery death! I mean, I've seen those movies!
No matter how big the guys shield is, somebody always hits him with an
arrow. And it always ends up in his leg and the guy starts pulling it out
on his own. But this is not ordinary arrow! It's a flaming one! (panicking)
How am I going to pull a flaming arrow out of my leg. I'm doooomed (Pastor
Ray comes walking up to the podium at this point)

Ray:  Hey Dave. What's
up?

Dave: Oh, um, nothing, Pastor.
Just reading from the good book here. Ephesians 6 in fact!

Ray: Great! Ready to put
on the armor of God?

Dave: Who me? Oh, yeah. Bring
it on that armor! Heh heh, yep. (looks around uncomfortably) Okay, gotta
go (walks out and Pastor starts his message

(LIGHTS OUT ON DRAMA BUT
NOT ON PASTOR)

END

(c) 2000 Dave Marsh